Let’s get really uncomfortable for a moment… and maybe a little rambly. Let’s do an activity (yippie!). Think BIG and wrecklessly. Set a timer, close your eyes and think of 3 BIG goals in 30 seconds…. (3,2,1…) Ok. Now how awkward was that? How small were your goals? Could you even think of three? Were they just tasks? Did you let your mind get large for a second and then you slapped yourself back down? Exactly.
We like to think in rational terms and lists – It’s hard to set the BIG goal because deep down you think you can’t achieve the small steps to get you there. Maybe you think – This goal is too hard. This goal isn’t practical. Screw that. Let’s try again but differently. Set a timer, close your eyes and think of 3 BIG goals in 30 seconds… before you start, imagine you can’t fail. Instead of “loosing 20 pounds” say “I have a killer body” – See the difference? Instead of “I want to create my own company” say “I have a multi-million dollar bomb-a#$ business” I can thank Rachel Hollis for articulating how I’ve thought about most things since I was little girl.
Many say “Well Chris – you’ve never lacked confidence” BUT why is that a bad thing? Work with what God gave ya!!!
I have two businesses with zero experience in business. School was never easy for me. I’m not naturally smart. Yeah I said it!! I did well in school because I was competitive not because I was gifted. If I won anything or got good grades it was because I worked my tush off. I was always envious of peers that didn’t need to study… I’m like a sweaty bull among casual swans. In college my advisor said (and I quote) “You’re like a half baked cake. All the ingredients… but you’re just not there.” She said this one-week before graduation. Thanks for fueling the fire Dr. Hastings… I just checked. She’s still there!
Short story and something that has indirectly come up in every therapy session I’ve ever had: In elementary school I was in the slow reading group. I was in the “special” math class. I had a tutor. I was little but I was pissed off. I wanted to be with my friends. I wanted to be in the smart kids reading group. These were NEVER permissions for me to quit. I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know what goal setting was but I could see myself there. I created vivid, detailed fantasies of reading to the class flawlessly from a chapter-book. I knew how I would animate the voices of the characters, how I would pause for effect to create drama in the storyline. It never occurred to me that there was even a chance I would’t succeed.
Flash forward: I’m not great at anything. I am however – stubborn + confident + naive. The combination of which make me a glutton for BIG dreams. I’m in my head all the time. I get bored really quickly. I’m a builder. Doing something when it’s running smoothly doesn’t interest me. I think that’s why I’ve had approximately 100 jobs. I’d start a new position and then when the challenge and chase was over… Once I knew what I was doing or it wasn’t hard – I was over it. I’m a junkie for mess. I love organizing and cleaning and DOING. I can NOT sit idle to save my life so being an entrepreneur is PERFECT!!! I’m also the only one that wouldn’t fire my brand of crazy… so it works out.
Back to the purpose of this post: DREAM BIGGER. SET BIGGER GOALS. Taste them, feel them, imagine intimate details about them. Know the nail color you’ll wear to your first book signing. What pen you’ll use! What the leather feels like in the SUV that brings you there. Anything I’ve ever gotten was over my head. Even relationships. Mr. Eats didn’t even know who I was in that High School lunch room. Work that shit! 18 years later we own a house, a dog, a business and I get to pack his meals for work every day. Do you think any of that would have happened if I didn’t DREAM it? NO!!! AND I love feeding people so hush yo self if you think that last part is trivial.
If you chop down who you want to be and what you want to do because it’s laborious or time consuming – guess what?! Your best life is going to pass you over like a cold winter wind and you’ll be left living in a boring shell, bitter and sad. Get crazy passionate. When I tell a story I get loud, I add colorful language, I wave my arms around like a lunatic. Goals + dreams are not these abstract unicorns. You can get them. If you think small you get small.
Put on your favorite song – SCREAM it in the car. Drive to the grocery store like a BOSS, while working out the furniture arrangement inside your dream lake house. Let your imagination run wild like a child. “When I grow up, I want a job where I get incremental promotions and drive a reliable eco-friendly Prius. Also I want to walk on my treadmill for 3-miles a day and enjoy a small glass of red wine on the weekends.” – SAID NO CHILD EVER!!! How else do you think we have doctors, firefighters, soldiers, internet, airplanes and music.
Hey! If your burning dream was to becoming a parent you wouldn’t just have sex once and call it good. NO! If it didn’t workout after the first try you wouldn’t extinguish your destiny and buy a houseplant! Hell no. You’d get back in there and try again front, back and sideways… and if that didn’t work you try something else. Before the kid is even conceived, you’ve named them, imagined their career, painted their bedroom, dreamt about cartoon band-aids!! The imagination MAKES it real. It makes you smell it when you wake up and live it when you put your feet on the floor.
Conclusion: Cake batter is delicious.